I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
