Don't you send me to vm
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
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