either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
