So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Randomize
