I CAN MOONWALK!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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