office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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