"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
