you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
honey bunches of taint.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
