Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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