she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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