Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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