He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
