Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
