He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
