Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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