Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
