I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
