it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
