She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
