Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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