Me. At least after what I've been through.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
