Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
