My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Randomize
