That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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