It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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