Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
