I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
