fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
