soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
