I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
