3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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