Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
