I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
