Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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