operation harelip BJ is a go
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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