How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
So vagazzling was a success
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
