at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
