The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
