I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
