i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You did what with his pubic hair?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
