Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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