I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
