If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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