I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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