New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
