Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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