he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
