yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
