i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
