Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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